dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
