I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Randomize
