I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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