I'm going to jail i love you
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
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