I wannas sexs uuuuu
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
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