Your mouth is God's brothel.
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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