How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Watching her eat just hurts me
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Randomize
