I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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