: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
We have started to decorate penises.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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