I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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