from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
