Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
