would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Randomize
