so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
