I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
