it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
