Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
