are you so shy because you have an std?
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Randomize
