Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
