Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Randomize
