No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
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