so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
