I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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