i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
my shit smells like andre
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Randomize
