I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
