Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize
