I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
