I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
