If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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