Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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