Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
