I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Randomize
