This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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