Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
