just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
