Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Houston, we have a squirter
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
there is another microwave in the elevator.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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