You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
