I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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