Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
