Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Randomize
