Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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