Soap is not a condiment
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
