My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
be right there i have to get my cape
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize
