WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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