my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
