Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
