Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
he just fucked me for my cheese..
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Randomize
