I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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