guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
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