Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
